Winter Blues

Well we're almost near the end of the February which means one step closer to spring and summer! I must say this past week was hard one. I'm really starting to get those winter blues as they say. I definitely have cabin fever, with all the snow and ice, this momma-to-be has been staying indoors. I must say I'm really not use to this staying home all the time. I do stuff around the house, but it's a small apartment and quickly I run out of things to do. Also I'm use to having lots of people around all the time, so I'm feeling a bit out of touch with friends and such. Anyways the last two days I've been really working at getting out of this blue stage and trying to find ways to be productive keep me occupied and spend my time.

Last week I was just flat out down, nothing Adam could say or do could cheer me up. I felt awful about it because I should be happy I have sooo so so so much to be thankful for and happy about. And yet here I was finding myself moping around, thinking of what I didn't have, or haven't gotten yet. How I have nothing to do and time is just going by so slowly. Complaining that this little Jelly Bean is inside of me instead of on the outside where s/he could keep me company. Then I started comparing myself to others and what they have and I didn't and how it didn't seem fair. I was doing exactly what I told my husband before we got married to let me NOT do, just in a different situation. I was feeling sorry for myself because I haven't had an ultrasound yet to see my baby, and it seemed everyone else who's pregnant under the sun has. Grant it, it's a very normal thing to want to see your baby and know everything is ok. BUT it's not ok, to want to see your baby and be jealous of everyone who does see it before you, and then not even be able to be happy for them. I quickly had to change my thinking and change my tune. I was not acting very Christian like and I was doing exactly what I had told myself I wouldn't do.

I am still a little upset that I haven't seen my baby yet, but not like I was. I am able to be happy for those who have and congratulate them. I remind myself to be thankful that I have a baby to see soon. It's still a month away before I find out if I need pink or blue items, green or purple. And at least another 3 weeks before I get an ultrasound. In the meantime I'll find ways to occupy my time and mind. Instead of dwelling on these things I should dwell on the Bible, read it more, think more on what I learned in church. I also need to get out of this winter blues I have a husband who loves me very much and does so much for me, and it's

not fair for me to act so selfishly.

I still have so much to learn before this little baby arrives, and I know that even once it comes, I'll still have lots to learn. There is a reason God has it 9 months to wait to meet the little one. Aside form genetics and baby development, mom and dad need to prepare themselves. Their lifestyles, the room, and most importantly our Hearts. God's sending us a gift that we can raise up in the ways that HE would have us to. We need to make sure we're ready for that task, mentally and spiritually.

God's Gifts

Today I am thankful for Gods gift of friendship =). Growing up you will go through many friendships...some will stay and some will go. The friends I had when I was 5 aren't the same friends I have today (partially due to the many moves), but each friendship in my life meant something and I always learned something from it. Somedays I sit andwonder, "Whatever happened to so and so, we were so close at one point and now I never see them". With facebook it's been easier to keep in contact with some friends and reconnect with old friends. Though it's never quite the same as it was, it's kind of neat to see where everyone has gone in their life.

This past weekend my husband and I took a trip to New Brunswick to visit some very close friends of mine. We went for very important birthday for a very special girl. This friendship started 7 years ago at the birth of my friend Vanessa's daughter. Starting out with chatting at church, then I started babysitting for her and very quickly it grew into a strong bond of friendship. We started hanging out and becoming like sisters (even though she had 3 already, I never had one so I enjoyed it ;) ) What most people find funny about our friendship is...the age difference. Vanessa is 11 years older than me, and we met when I was 13! Hard to believe you could be friends and such a young age with a big age gap, but here it happened. Now here we are 7 years later celebrating the birthday of her daughter whom I love dearly! Vanessa has another child who's absolutely adorable, and now I have one on the way. Hard to believe we watched each other go through different stages of life and struggles and were always there for each other. Now watching her little girl grow up and go from the "cute kid" stage to beautiful little girl stage, is exciting and heart breaking! I can only imagine what it's going to be like when I have to watch my baby grow up and how somedays I will want to wish them little forever!

I am very thankful for the encouragement Vanessa and her husband have been for us. After I meet Adam he quickly grew to enjoy the company of them, and greatly appreciates their friendship too! He's frequently calling Brad and asking him what to do about my moodieness and if it gets any better ;) in which Brad assures him it does. It's been great getting to know them and watching the little ones grow, I look forward to many visits in the future =)!

Another person I am very thankful for is my husband, he's my very best friend and does so much for me! These past few months have not been easy, especially for being newly weds, and he's been so good and patient. I know he loves me and he shows it outwardly, in fact when I got really sick, my Dr. mentioned to my grandparents at how he was so impressed with Adam and the way he looked after me and was concerned for me! I love him so much and I know I don't tell him nearly enough. I am very thankful for the months God has given us together and pray for many more to enjoy.